Discussion

It’s interesting to observe the limitations we place on ourselves… and others, for that matter. Sometimes it’s the little things, and sometimes it’s quite big. The example I am thinking about is gardening (I know, again!).
My mum used to say that, unless you have three generations of your family born and bred in the city, you are still a peasant. The conditions were even stricter in the capital  Suffice is to say that I do not meet the generation criterion! But, born and bred in the city as I am, my interests, my friends, my pathways have been urban since day 1. Intellectual strength was king, physical strength was neglected, if not outright ignored. At school, PE classes were mostly pushed aside in favour of mathematics. My group of friends was based on reading choices alongside gossip and other attractions. University was not talked about, just expected. And after university came emigration, in the urban realm, of course.

So here I am following the laid down pathway with no major surprises… and in the first rental I settled in (after several temporary ones) I decided that I am going to grow my favourite flowers (paeonies). I made a bet with myself, that if I find paeonies at the shop I will actually make a full garden. Lo and behold, there were paeonies at the shop, so a garden I made. My husband helped  When we bought our house, one of the first criteria was the amount of land it had. Yes, still in town, but I wanted a garden. Well, actually, we wanted to be self-sufficient, so an orchard followed and animals are on their way.

It now comes as no surprise to me that spring is my season (were the paeonies not enough of a hint?). It just makes it difficult to talk to people, you see? I can find it very satisfying to put my overalls on (I look terrible in them, I really need to find better ways to dress for those several hours I spend in the dirt), pull on the pink gumboots, grab my forever unclean fork and trowel and head towards the back of the garden, which I am clearing of invasive weeds before terracing and levelling. I can find myself shocked at the pure physical strength coursing through my usually office-bound body and the restlessness that overcomes it on those rainy days when I cannot go outside. But this is not intellectual discussion. This is not the book-based urban life I am supposed to have. This is, as conversation goes, boring. Beneath me. Unworthy of attention. “Is this what you went to university for?” I am being asked.

Of course I found ways to get around that, because I like intellectual discussions! People become more aware of sustainable diversity as opposed to monocultures, so I can hold forth on invasive weeds and the lack of diversity they engender (10 square metres and all I can find is 6 species? Preeeee-posterous!). That part of the garden also has a beautiful view of my beloved mountain, so I can talk about wanting to maintain it. I can do that because I really need to plant low growing shrubs there as it’s the south side, cold and blustery and with not always a lot of sun (the feijoas will be a nice, acceptable – and fruitful – shelter once they fill up a bit). My newest toy (a garden mulcher) is really not strong enough for more than twigs so I can bandy about words like hugelkultur because really I am just going to lay down the branches, cover them with weeds and earth and then hopefully never have to water my hazelnuts or apples ever again. I can talk about trying to propagate bilberries and goji berries, and they have enough of a novelty/regional/traditional factor to be acceptable subjects of conversation.
And in the meantime, my upper body strength amazes even me, and some of my friends prove themselves to be quite interested/proficient in gardening!   

Systems, revisited

It seems to be a fact of modern life that people complain. They complain about the weather and each other, mostly, one which can’t be helped at all and the other one… well, I will not get into the inter-personal stuff right now. But there is something else that people complain about, and that sometimes can be missed because it is rarely put clearly. I am talking, of course, of systems.

For once the word is Greek in origin – those are interesting, really, their history even more complicated than the Latin words. The combination of words that leads to system is “with “ and “set up” which tends to describe the rules that stand at the bottom of any system worth its salt. And therein you shall find the reasons for the complaints.

Let me explain 🙂

Last time I wrote about systems I was tired and only mentioned the linear sequences that a system is based on – yep, those are the rules of the game. But, as any student before the exam will tell you, it is the feedback mechanism that makes a system operate properly, otherwise you have a simple calculator. The rules give it strength, the feedback gives it flexibility. That’s the theory, anyway.

The glitch, as I see it, is that systems are set up by people. Yep, the same people who thought you could identify a criminal by his facial features. The same people who thought only birds could fly. The same people who saw a ship appearing on the horizon mast first and still thought the Earth was flat. In short, imperfect, bound already by whatever rules their culture set up as laws. The big systems like the Universe, Earth, Life already have rules (gravity, anybody?) and sometimes even systems (oh, look how many aphids, said the ladybirds and their population exploded) but those are difficult to break and even destabilize. And they are too big, so people have made up smaller systems, trying to account for consequences, and yet those come mostly as surprises due to people’s strange idea that their concepts take precedence over everything, including the big systems. Take communism, for example, ignoring competition. Or take capitalism, for example, ignoring community.

But I digress.

One would think that we could give a nice big computer the task of setting up the systems, so that we can be sure we cover more unintended consequences that imperfect people could ever conceive. But that would just take a rectifiable error and compound it until it is enshrined in law.

You see, people talk about rules and set up incentives and deterrents around them to award or punish the obedience or rebellion. But just like systems, rules are made by people FOR the people, they have to SERVE the people, not just bind them. That is the role of the feedback system, and that is where most systems fail, begetting complaints from the people who trip and fall instead of being helped. Rules are lovely, feedback helps them stay that way, instead of just empty relics.

People’s systems are, by their nature, limited and imperfect, like their creators. And yet they are better, for those people, than anything that comes in second place. We just need to remember that feedback – the flexibility is just as important as the strength.

Anticipation

Not surprisingly, it comes from Latin. Also not surprisingly, it is related to expectation and hope and prediction. Surprisingly though, originally it referred to action, not passive waiting. I like this kind of words 🙂

I was considering today the difference between expectation (discussed on this blog in another article) and anticipation. The difference, I think, is at the above-mentioned action level. Expectations are sometimes inspirational, sometimes a pain in the neck, but they are concepts and ideas only, and as such they can hurt you more as it’s difficult to neutralize them. Anticipation, on the other hand, is very active, very specific and a lot easier to use than expectation. Let me explain by using at least two examples (what we would consider a positive and a negative one).

Stage fright is the most common example of negative anticipation. We worry ourselves sick, of course, if we are normal (people being in front of a group of others who are not their kin, that they can’t see well and who are not smiling in welcome – and we’re supposed to enjoy it? Ludicrous!). In other words, we have expectations of how we need to perform, then we anticipate us stumbling, forgetting the words etc. Those scenarios drive us to distraction, but more than that, unless we find a way to limit them (rituals, mindfulness, repetition…) they will come true.

That leads me to the positive anticipation, like that used by professional athletes and others for ages! Visualizing yourself winning the race, or even just running, has clear effects on the body and the mind. It is obvious we can use it in so many situations. And if sometimes that feels like cheating, just remember that negative visualization is cheating as well! That is, of course, a knee-jerk response. The way I prefer to say it is that we are thinking the future into existence, and we might as well make it a good one if we’re going to so much trouble 🙂

That leaves me to cover the most common type of anticipation, which is mostly both negative and positive. I refer, of course, to desire. Please feel free to read as much as you wish about it, to describe it as best you can, to try to reign it in as much as your belief urges you to. There are few things in this life that will move humans to greater action faster than desire. It can make us go through the entire gamut of emotions a human being can experience, including some that by rights should not even exist – sick with joy, anybody?

The feeling of rising out of the initial darkness, the escape from routine, the longing for meaning, all of them are encompassed. We truly do not know how strong we are until we deal with this particular type of anticipation. We also do not realize how complicated our lives are and how many obstacles humans create for themselves until we experience desire.

Now the question remains: should we give in to desire? And what about love? Where does love fit in with it?