I am talking of the run of the mill feeling, not the diagnosable crippling condition some are suffering from. I am also not talking of fear, as that is linked to something real, not anticipation.
Just run of the mill anxiety, the restlessness that cuts into your focus, that demands your time and attention and action. Don’t get me wrong, I know what to do: get help and make a plan getting there though… hmm, let’s give it a try!
Anxiety, of course, thrives on loneliness. I don’t mean no people around, I mean loneliness as in the shouldering of responsibilities by yourself and being there for the people but also feeling that you have to be forever strong. The thing is also that anxiety also narrows down your line of vision and so you go past opportunities to slow down and take care of yourself.
No point in reading that you need to take a bath, pamper yourself for an evening, go out, meditate, ask for help if you can’t take it in and do it… scratch that, there is a point in reading about those things. Sooner or later your brain will slow down (just before restless sleep?) and will allow those suggestions to become obvious things you can do… just as soon as you can fit them in… sigh
Making a plan also requires that restlessness to take a back step. Washing the dishes, having a shower, sewing, making a puzzle and writing things down help with that in my case. Going through the things that need doing now and preparing for the near future (Xmas anyone?) get back that beloved feel of control I like having when it comes to my life. So I have started going through the presents I have accumulated and gathering wrapping paper and ribbon etc.
I have figured out what I need to do this weekend and left enough time for blobbing.
I’ve also been wanting 6 impossible things before breakfast (I am homesick, and international travel is out of the question) so that will have an impact… time to schedule at least some domestic travel methinks…
I need to also read the books and listen to the music that reminds me that there is more to life than reality, that there is more to reality than just the senses and that we are beings of light, not flesh alone
Does that seem to you again as if I am doing it all on my own? Right, family to the rescue! Time to get some TLC from the nearest and dearest – scheduled for this weekend again – life, you know?
And I also need to keep into account that not all the anxiety will be mine, I also feel and respond to the anxiety of others, especially the nearest and dearest It’s a side effect of having family and friends, you know?
Right, I have a plan, I will get help… and I will take it easy on myself. TGIF!