Mulch the garden. You have better things to do than weed every single hour you are in the garden.
Don’t plant more than 2 courgette/zucchini plants. You still have the boxes of grated marrows from last year, which you had planned to mix in casseroles.
Enjoy the ranunculus. For the southerly will topple the heavily petticoated blooms to the ground.
Replant before the flowers appear. You do want fruits, don’t you?
Be merciless. That small plant you have ignored? It will take you half a day to cut it back in a year’s time. Yes, that includes jasmine.
Plants are resilient. Especially fig, in the place where you don’t want it.
Cover the strawberries. There are more birds than humans in your garden.
Scatter clippings over your beautifully raked garden bed. Your neighbours’ cats see your garden as the toilet anyway, do you have to give them a litter box as well?
Crush snails. Dig them in.
Try to crush slugs when they’re small, later only sharp implements can help – yuk! Or hedgehogs.
Speaking of hedgehogs, don’t poke your ungloved hands in a pile of leaves.
Speaking of hedgehogs again, go around your car in the morning and have a good look down the driveway. Those creatures are worth their weight in gold. Or slugs 🙂
Be patient and resigned. You may never have the lilac and paeony you desire. But it’s worth a try.
Save the bumblebee queen. They are heavier and less delicate than honeybees. Your flowers don’t really care.
Ignore the roses. Once the delicate grafts have died down, the rootstock will outlast you. You may even get some rosehips.
Plant garlic. Nothing so satisfying as anticipating using it in 6 months’ time… except maybe actually using it and enjoying it – congratulations, you are now self-sufficient in garlic!
Consider visiting the open gardens during the festival. But only on good days. You will feel inadequate anyway.
Smell the hyacinths, daffodils, wait for the snowdrops, admire the cherry blossoms and stop to stare at magnolias. Rhododendrons will follow.
Encourage the pansies and the marigolds.
Go to sleep. 🙂