Two books and exhaustion. Any link?

Systems are all about links, that’s what makes them beautifully, instructively complicated. Lectures, theories, books, whole professions, all based on systems. Synergies, catharsis, feedback, problem solving, all of it, it’s very comprehensive. Exhausting…

The first book was a gem, Malcolm Gladwell’s “Outliers” (note to self, go and read his other books), all because of chance: person leaves a job, has a number of books she doesn’t donate to charity, so she leaves them in a locked lunch room for her colleagues to help themselves to. Colleagues who happen to have the key that fits the lock in that cafeteria, who know where the cafeteria is located, who go there looking for someone, and see the books, and have 5 minutes to spare to rifle through them, who choose a book (or five!) and then find the time to read it. I did 🙂

The second book is also a gem in another direction. Guy Gavriel Kay’s Fionnavar Trilogy. Bought because he edited Tolkien’s books. And he came to New Zealand. And I like fantasy (it started with Tolkien). And I happened to travel for a job interview, stopped in a second hand book shop, found volumes one and three, got through the job interview, went to another second hand book shop to calm down, found volume two, considered it a sign, bought it. I got the job, much good did it do to me. And I read the books. 🙂

Systems. Chance, opportunity, hard work, sacrifice, actions and consequences, a weaver at his loom, bringing threads together into the tapestry of a universe far, far away and deep in your dreams. Deaths that mean something and lives that parents and Gods direct on pathways unintended yet foreseen. Gods that are bound by their immortality and the importance of birthdays if you’re in Canada, happen to be male and play hockey.

Systems. Perceived as something so much bigger, and yet subsummed. Known as frustrating, money-sinking instruments of torture if you can see a bit of the bigger picture (also a tapestry. Or a jigsaw puzzle. Or life, for that matter).


Systems also in us, more or less folded unto themselves and us travelling from one into another, professional to hobbyist, mother to daughter, friend to enemy, lover to music listener, poetry reader to nerd, Pre-Rapphaelite spellbound to chickflick laughter.

Busy, so much to do, and life blowing a kiss in return. Exhausted, determined to go to sleep before midnight (yeah, right!) and to ask a friend for a massage (yeah!), taking the time to pace and think about what it might mean and how to fit what has been encountered into the system of your choice, finding that it fits better somewhere else, which means that the big system needs to be reworked a bit, tweaked as it were. Then an avalanche of love and tenderness, washing the grime off the heart’s brow, enticing and selfish, unchanging.

It fits. Perfectly. Good night!


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